If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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