i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
