the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
