Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
