Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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