im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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