3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
