so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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