i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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