I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
