So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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