Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
