i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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