we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
