Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
