I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't deserve a penis
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
