There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
