The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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