Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
