that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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