Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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