youre lurking in front of me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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