Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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