just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
