no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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