Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize