and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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