This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
