Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
