Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
