Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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