I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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