thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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