thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
