Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
