found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
