My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
