no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
