True but thats because hes a fetus.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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