I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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