the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
