I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
pray to the hookup gods
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
