OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just want to make out with him forever
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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