I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
