Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im calling her cock vulture from now on
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
