Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
