piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
