She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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