I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
