Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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