Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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