Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
