You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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