There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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