The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
