my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
