I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
