My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I supernannyed him into submission
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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