so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I came so hard my ears popped.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
