I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize