I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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