Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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