were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
jump out the window naked night went bad
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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