To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
