you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
