I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
